Having, on Sunday morning, enjoyed an extremely laid back and leisurely breakfast of hot crusty bread with lashings of home made raspberry jam I decided I'd better try and get to grips with the gardening before the weather got unbearably hot. I spent the morning dead heading, feeding my plants (good old fashioned eco friendly tomato food!) and spraying my dahlias which I noticed were covered in black fly, I then got physical! Decided to tackle the weeds growing on my drive.

I'd deliberately left them this year as I'd noticed last year that some of my next door neighbour's plants had seeded on my drive so I thought I'd take a leaf out of the Scrooge Book of Financial Management and leave some of them to flower this year so I could gather the seeds. I particularly noticed she had some lovely pink opium type poppies that kept coming up year after year and this year I could see two plants poking up through the gravel. They haven't actually flowered yet but I'm hoping!! The task of weeding the drive was long and arduous as I couldn't just spray it in case the weedkiller hit the plants I was trying to save so I had to take the rose off the watering can and do each weed individually but I'm hoping it's going to be worth it when I have a good supply of antirrhinum, poppy and marigold seeds stored up for next year!!! I then finished up the first half of my day by planting up some cape gooseberries that Adam had grown from seed. Never grown them before so decided to go for the belt and braces approach! Planted a third in a large pot up against the garage wall, a third in the greenhouse to keep my cucumbers company and the last third I've left in a large pot which is now sitting in my porch. Surely one of 'em will bear fruit??

By this time I was particularly hot and bothered so thought I'd spend the afternoon catching up on a bit of telly that we'd recorded during the last couple of weeks, followed by a little bit of research into my next article and then, as I hadn't done any exercise other than the gardening for a couple of weeks or more, thought it was about time I dragged the Wii out.

By way of physical jerks as my father used to call 'em, I had a few games of tennis on the Wii followed up by a quick trip to the Wii 10 pin bowling alley. Obviously I wasn't as fit as I'd been when I played tennis a few weeks back as I lost 3 out of 5 games. There's something mildly aggravating about being beaten by a cartoon character!!

I then decided to get stuck into my latest article which is proving to be a bit of a bugger to fathom, but I'll get there eventually ... hopefully before Christmas.

During the evening, while I was trying to get my noggin round my research, there was a huge kerfuffle out in the garden. Cleo, bless her little white fluffy feet had caught a bloomin' baby blackbird and the parents were going ballistic. I managed to grab hold of the cat and carried her indoors kicking and screaming like a toddler while Adam checked out the blackbird which, although looking a bit dazed, seemed none the worse for his ordeal and after a bit of friendly persuasion fluttered off like a WW1 flying ace back to Mum and Dad.

The week turned out to be fairly uneventful. We did our Asda order on line on Tuesday but it became a bit of a nightmare. It seems as if just as we're getting used to something they have to damned well change it. You know how annoying it is when you go to your local supermarket and can find your way blindfold around the aisles and, two years later, go in to find they've moved everything around. It's exactly the same when we shop on line; this month they've 'improved' their website which, in effect, means that all the items have been shoved willy-nilly across the screen so the ordering took double the time. However, we managed to complete it and eagerly awaited delivery on Thursday morning.

Thursday came and our usual cheery delivery man came to the door. As normal, we went to the back of the van so he could clamber up to unload the bags of groceries and we waited to collect up the bags and carry them through to the kitchen. We've had a nice system going for the last couple of years - we put the bags container freezer and fridge foods near the freezer and fridge, those with tinned goods by the kitchen cupboards at the far end of the kitchen, the cat food ones near the cat food cupboard under the sink, the bathroom ones at the bottom of the stairs and the 'treat' bags such as crisps, biscuits, booze, etc over by our treat cupboard and shelves. But this time, we found that our delivery man was accompanied by another equally cheery chappy who was keen to carry the shopping inside. Apparently Asda, in their wisdom, had thought it would be a good idea for each driver to increase the number of orders he had to deliver in the allotted timeframe so, in order to achieve that, they put an extra pair of hands on the van to help. This second cheery chap helped carry the shopping through to the kitchen which is all very well but as my kitchen's at the back of the house I had him traipsing through the porch, through the lounge and into the kitchen. It then took us twice as long to pack the stuff away as we were in a complete muddle. Added to that was the fact that to be 'eco friendly' they'd cut back on carrier bags and left the jars and tinned stuff in crates so we had baked beans, plum tomatoes, sweetcorn and soup strewn across the worktop which we'd normally leave clear so we could portion up the fish, meat and chicken before freezing it.

In order to be eco-friendly our local Co-op have been giving us biodegradable carrier bags for about five years now so why Asda can't do that I don't know. What I do know is that I was, for once, extremely grateful to hear a fanfare emanating from my PC upstairs just as we were about to sort out our chaotic kitchen - an indication that I'd received an email. "Goodness", I said to Adam, "I think I might just have some work in". So I rushed upstairs to find that I'd got a nice juicy priority job. I called down to Adam extremely apologetically that I'd have to abandon him so I left the poor man buried somewhere in between the tins and the bags of frozen fish and began my work.

Now, my priority work is set on a deadline - I had 15 minutes of dictation which it was estimated would take an hour to type so having started it at around 12.00 I was expecting to get it back to the client by lunchtime. Needless to say this estimate fell by the wayside. My mother, bless her, who's now 80 decided to ring me. I knew I was probably in for a long 'listening' session as she started off, "I know you're probably busy but ...". I interrupted her and told her I was on a deadline to get some work back before lunch and asked if I could telephone her back later that evening. She told me I could but then continued, "I'm probably now going down to Sainsbury's and then I need to go into town. It's 'Roy down the road's' 95th birthday tomorrow. Did I tell you he's off to France next month for a D Day tour? I didn't know what to get him for his birthday. We've got a new fishmonger's in the town. I know he likes fish so I'll probably buy him a nice piece of fish for his tea. He's having some of us in the Close for an 'open house' tomorrow. I think I might be the only one going though because Jessie next door can't get down there with her walking frame. Hilda's not been too well so she won't be going. She's got a nasty cough and I keep telling her to go to the doctors. Shirley's not there so she won't be able to go. Did I tell you Shirley's had to have one of her cats put to sleep? And talking of cats ...". By that time I'd almost lost the will to live so interrupted her flow and told her that I really had to go. Although she sounded extremely put out, I had to be strong and told her I'd ring her that evening.

Talk about a stressful day!!! Thankfully Friday was less so and I decided to finish the day at 5.15 rather than 6.00. Well, after all, it was Poets Day (for those who are unfamiliar with the term it means p**s off early tomorrow's Saturday!). I decided to have a break from my usual CSI/Criminal Minds/Mentalist catch up and, instead had a quick wander through the radio stations on Freeview and chose the brilliant Smooth Radio. It's aimed at us more mature people and it was playing a really good selection of old 1970s disco music. It brought back many a happy memory of the school discos. I went to an all girls school and I can remember well the whole of the 4th year upwards queuing to dance with Mr Cosson and Mr Warr, the two sexiest male teachers.

Yesterday (Saturday) was spent doing various things. A bit of cooking, a bit of housework, a bit of gardening, fleaing the cat and a bit more research for my article. I got so deeply engrossed in my article and Adam, who's beta-ing a new game called Fallen Earth, became equally engrossed in his battles that, before we knew it, it was 7.00 so we ordered a wonderful Kebab Feast from a kebab shop in Norwich. You get a huge foil tray of different types of meat, two pittas, two portions of chips, a large portion of salad and a litre bottle of Coke. It costs £12.50 but then we can't eat it all in one go so we separate out the various types of kebab meat and freeze some of it. One portion of chips then goes into the fridge to be warmed through in the oven the next day for our evening meal. Even the large foil tray is washed out well and used when I make a steak and kidney pie or a lasagne so it can be frozen and then just chucked in the oven when I'm particularly busy. We then watched a DVD called Doomsday with Bob Hoskins in it. It was a bit gruesome but there's nothing like a bit of blood and guts when you're getting decidedly tribal, picking up a huge kebab and shovelling it into your mouth neanderthal style!!!!

And now, Sunday morning's here again and I'm sitting with my mid morning cuppa before I start yet more research for my article!!!

Speak to you next week!!!

Another Week

Here's my weekly update just for your amusement George!


On the whole the week went well. I was pleased to get my article about Cley Next the Sea published and, in the research, finding out that one of my fave singers James Blunt has his roots there! I'm now trying to decide where to go next - history behind another local village, biography of local gal or bor (Norfolk for boy!), or maybe something a little more gruesome?!! I shall probably ponder the point at length while I'm doing my housework later on today. I have quite an interesting Tudor murder lined up so might have a stab at that - no it wasn't by stabbing but rather an unusual method. I'll leave you hanging on that one - no it wasn't hanging either!!! I also want to try and get down some amusing notes about my childhood which I hope will turn out to be more of a 'short story' - and then perhaps, George, I can feel confident enough to get to grips with your novel idea.


The week was pretty hectic so far as work was concerned but I took Wednesday off to visit my mother who can be a trifle difficult to deal with these days. As I mentioned last weekend, my days with Mother can be quite eventful and last Wednesday was no exception. I had my itinerary set - catch the No 10 bus at 9.15 to get me from Spixworth to Norwich; arrival 9.45; go to the Bank and pay in some cheques I'd had hanging around for a bit; get the No 210 bus at 10.10 to take me from Norwich to North Walsham, where my mother lives; ETA 11.20. I'd then arranged to meet my mother in the market place, go into QD, Boots and the local greengrocer, go back to hers for lunch and then catch the 210 back to Spixworth at 4.20.


The day started well - for once the bus turned up on time and it was a nice new one rather than the usual old banger that we have at 9.15 which has something wrong with brakes - every time the bus stops it sounds as if the Queen Mary is coming into port!! We got about halfway into Norwich and suddenly the bus driver pulled into the side of the road, leaped out and ran back from whence we came. He returned with something in his hand - he announced that his front indicator which should have been on the front left hand corner of the bus had dropped off. He then announced that the next bus would be along in about 10 minutes. More than his job was worth to travel without that indicator as it was against health and safety regulations.


That wouldn't have allowed me enough time to catch my bus out to North Walsham so I then had to hike back a mile in order to catch the 210 bus. I'd been having a 'turf out' in the garden the previous weekend and had managed to dig up some day lilies, gladioli and perennial lobelias which I'd shoved in pots to take over to my mum's as she was complaining that her garden looked bare. I'd found that one of the houses I passed on my jolly jaunt back to the bus stop was obviously inhabited by either a non-gardener or a 'natural' one as there were all sorts of things growing over the path. I duly arrived back at the bus stop with my jungle still intact and waited for the bus to arrive. It was then I noticed that I was covered in greenfly. I knew it wasn't from my plants so it must have come from the jardin au naturel!!

The bus arrived and I sat down for the leisurely (although somewhat itchy - due to my infestation) ride through all the little villages via the back roads to North Walsham. The countryside is absolutely stunning this time of year and I just wished I could have asked the driver to stop the bus so I could take some photos, but no worries, I'll just drag poor old Adam out over the next couple of weeks so I can return with my digital camera!

I arrived in North Walsham on time but Phase 1 of the plan to pay in the cheques had had to be relegated to the bottom drawer. I alighted still with mini jungle intact despite the twisty bends of the back roads and Mum was waiting for me. Now to have a good old gander round QD, Boots, etc, etc. As soon as I got off the bus I could see that Mum had two full bags of something. Having said hello to each other she announced that she'd been to Sainsbury's, the Post Office and the greengrocer so we could head straight home. She said that her shoulder was now beginning to ache and she was feeling tired due to the humid weather so we should head straight back to hers. So, Phase 2 out of the window!!!

We got back to Mum's and I told her I'd remembered what she'd said about wanting some perennial plants to fill up the gaps in her garden and proudly presented my cuttings (now with the added bonus of greenfly!). As I said previously, she's getting a bit tetchy in her old age and doesn't believe in beating about the bush. I handed her the day lily and she immediately said, "oh no, not another one of those! You gave me one of those a couple of years ago and it's a damned nuisance. I keep meaning to ask Robin (her 'gardening man') to get rid of the one I've got out there now as it's too big". I bit my tongue and resisted the urge to tell her that she'd told me she didn't have enough plants to fill the garden so I just, very meekly, said, "well, you'll have to see if you can find a neighbour that'd like it". She, rather ungratefully, said I could 'shove them outside'. I suspect that they'll end up in the compost bin. So much for my good turn!

Despite this setback though, we had quite a good day and Mum, as she so often does these days, regaled me with stories of her childhood in Coltishall and some of Dad's tales of his war years. I duly recorded all the salient points in my limited memory so I can write them up later!!

And so it came to the journey home - bus late, but at least it turned up. All in all not too stressful but could have been better. I'd give it 8 out 10. (Can anyone remember what the TV programme was called back in the 1960s with that lovely lady who used to 'give it foive'?) Was it Pick of the Pops or something like that?

The rest of the week went relatively well - I got a bargain from Suttons Seeds online. 20 garden ready perennial plants for £25. I'm now an avid 'shop online' girl and Adam's amazed at the speed I can find comparable prices - everything from flowers to electrical goods! And I've got some wonderful websites that give me cashback if I connect through them. I've even signed up to a charity cashback site - every time I go through them to purchase something online, the PAWS centre (the local RSPCA shelter where Cleo came from) they get a percentage of what I paid.

I checked out the Woolies website on Friday and ordered Adam's brother-in-law a bag of pick-n-mix which I've had sent to him down in Essex. He was forced to retire early from the company he'd worked for for 47 years so thought we'd send him a little bag of treats to help him celebrate, although it sounds as if he's already getting into the swing of things. Adam's sister phoned us during the week (she's recently given up her job as a child welfare worker with the local council), and announced that she and Ray were sitting in the garden with their dog enjoying a Chelsea bun and a cup of coffee!

This morning we were up again fairly early, had a cuppa and took our little weekly jaunt to the local Co-op and couldn't believe our eyes! At the checkout next door were a couple, Stephen and Laura, who'd been neighbours of ours when we lived in Norwich. They'd both been teachers in Ethiopia and had bought a house in Norwich so that they and their two young sons could come home during the summer hols to catch up with old friends and relatives. When Adam and I had moved out to Spixworth we'd somehow lost touch with them but apparently they were now living in Spixworth themselves! Their youngest son, Tim, was with them - home from University for the weekend. He'd been 9 when we left Norwich and, as you can imagine, was unrecognisable from the little Timmy who enjoyed poking around our perennials looking for ladybirds! His older brother, Jonathan, must now be about 21 or 22 and apparently he was at University too. Stephen's now a lecturer in Norwich and Laura decided to give up teaching and is now doing a course at the University of East Anglia. Strange old world - full of coincidences!!!

Now, what to do today? Looks like a thunderstorm's a-brewin' so I might just indulge in a cup of tea and a piece of fruit cake (Mum gave me one when I was over at hers on Wednesday and it'd be a shame if we left it to go stale - well, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it). As it's so humid neither Adam nor I really fancy eating much so I'll probably stick some chicken portions in the oven to cook during the afternoon and then we can have chicken salad tonight or, if the weather turns cooler, we can take the chicken off the bone and use it in a stir fry. In the meantime, I'll probably catch up on a bit of CSI or Corrie or maybe do a bit more research into another article.

Before I end though, a message for George. You asked about the footpath in Coltishall. The footpath itself is still there but its just not as 'prettily presented' as it was when I lived in the village. You no longer have access to the whole of the meadow as it's been fenced off and the crooked wooden five bar gate has been replaced with a metal one. I suspect it's because the people who use the footpath no longer respect the 'laws of the countryside' and probably demolish wooden gates and chase the cattle that graze on the meadow. I can well remember taking walks through there with Mum, Dad, my older sister and our cat and the cattle used to love coming up to us and being stroked but these days they're liable to be set upon by yobs!!! Such is life, as they say!!!!

Speak to you next week.

Sunday, Blissful Sunday

So what's life been like in Norfolk this week? Quite uneventful. Lots of work and very little play. My planned day with my mother went awry. Both she and I developed stomach bugs on Tuesday (won't go into too much detail there!) so cancelled our get together on Wednesday, but as I was confined to the house that day for obvious reasons I took advantage of my quiet time, settled down on the sofa with my feet up, my little ASUS laptop and went adventuring in the great land of Google which showed me the way to my latest little gem of an article.

The rest of the week was all work and no play making Jackie a very dull and depressed girl but, come Saturday morning, I was feeling considerably brighter. Started the day with a visit to the local Co-op even before I'd had my early morning cuppa and breakfast! But it was well worthwhile - they had pecan and maple syrup pastries still warm from the bakery so - you've guessed it - I just had to buy a couple. Not both for me I hasten to add - one for me; one for Adam. They went down a real treat with a cup of coffee; not your everyday Asda one but a nice Douwe Egberts (ever so poash and refeened!). The shop also had some delicious hot crusty bread so we had a late lunch of slightly reheated fresh bread with Cheddar cheese (yummy! Makes my mouth water just thinking about it!).

The morning was spent typing up my latest article for Triond and, in my 'writer's block' moments I got on with a bit of housework. It's amazing how much less boring housework is if you can concentrate your mind on something more exciting. For most housewives I suspect it's music, but for me it's thinking about the article I'm currently writing or thinking of another subject to add to my notebook. I honestly think I've got an addiction to writing. Whether or not it's a bad thing I don't know but one thing I do know for certain is that, since I discovered Triond it's brightened up my life no end. Maybe it's one of those mid life crisis things - but thankfully it's not the sort of crisis that involves me taking myself off into the wilds with hobnail boots, rucksack and a cagoule!!

But following this extremely fruitful writing/housework day, I did rather over indulge in the evening. Having had stodge for breakfast and stodge for lunch we then had a luvverly lasagne for dinner, but then we went just that one step too far! We brought out the cheapo cheesecake from Asda and added cream to it. Just as well we didn't have any 'waffer thin mints' or we might just have done a Monty Python Mr Creosote.

The night didn't go well. Adam woke up at about 3.00 with indigestion (no surprises there!) and then a couple of hours or so later we woke to the sound of crunching. Adam had a quick look over the end of the bed and our delightful little Cleo sat there crunch the head off a shrew. So, up I got and shooed her away with her towel that we keep on the end of the bed for her sleep on, while Adam gathered up the remainder of her early breakfast in a cloth. He decided he wasn't going to get dressed, go downstairs and give it a decent burial at 5.00 or so in the morning so he dropped it out of the bedroom window and said that if, by the time we got up, it was still there he'd bury it but hopefully the magpies, rooks, fox or visiting cat might just pick it up. Thankfully, it had gone by this morning.

So today I've decided I'm going to relax - I've just stewed up some blueberries that were on offer when we went shopping yesterday and put a joint of ham on to cook. We then intend to have some hot ham with the remainder of the loaf of bread we picked up yesterday and perhaps a bit of chutney and then I'm probably going to look into another article. It seems most people out there love anything that's gruesome and grisly so I'm going to Google a bit to see if I can find anything particularly mentally disturbing to cater for those needs!!!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Well, this morning I can look out of my window and see the beginnings of a well sorted summer garden. Having got all my plants in over the Bank Holiday weekend we then had a couple of mild days with rain to water them in nicely. Unfortunately though I think one of my cucumbers has bought it - we had a day of strong wind which seems to have given it a real battering but I'm endeavouring to use my vegetable vet skills to bring it out of it's cucumber coma! But I can now see some of my seeds struggling through the soil and my red hot pokers are starting to 'poke'.

As I'd worked hard most of last weekend, Adam decided it'd be nice to have an early evening drive out on Bank Holiday Monday. We needed to post some letters so we went via back roads to the village where I spent the first 26 years of my life - Coltishall. It's only five or six miles up the road but since my mother and father moved a few miles further north to the market town of North Walsham back in 1999, we tend to drive through it rather than stop. Typically, as it was a Bank Holiday, one of the roads through was closed for roadworks so the traffic was diverted (not that there's a huge amount of traffic) and also, just as typically, the diversion signs were here, there and everywhere but gave little information. Fortunately we knew where the little back lanes were to lead us to the post office but I pity any poor visitors/holidaymakers, they probably ended up somewhere between Devon and Yorkshire!

By going along the back lanes I have to admit I was saddened by three things.

When I lived in the village the banks were full of brambles, crab apples and basically native hedging but since I last went round that way, all the hedgerows had been stripped. I spent so many happy years walking and cycling there, grubbing through the cow parsley and nettles on the banks to pick the blackberries and crab apples.

The second thing I noticed was that an old wooden five bar gate across a meadow had been replaced with one of those hideous metal ones and the kissing gate attached to it to enable use of the public footpath had been taken away and a wire stock proof fence had been placed along the edge of the meadow. I assume this is to stop yobs and idiots who don't control their dogs from getting to the bullocks that are normally in there but it's somehow taken away that idyllic country feel from such a beautiful area.

The third thing which dismayed me somewhat was that a pretty little 1920s house, painted pale pink and set in its pretty little cottage garden complete with apple trees had been knocked down, the plot had been flattened and cleared and a large new house was under construction. The house had been built by a Mr and Mrs Girling who had a daughter. After Mr and Mrs Girling died, their daughter who had remained a spinster continued living there until she died a couple of years back. I'm sure Miss Girling would have been devastated if she'd known her lovely little family house and her beautifully tended garden had been razed to the ground.

But at least some good came out of the 'diversion' - I've now decided to have a stab at writing up a few notes on my childhood memories. I think I've been fired by the fact that I'm currently typing up some memoirs for a retired surveyor and estate agent and also I want to try my hand at something akin to a biography, which hopefully will lead me to starting on my first novel (thanks George for the inspiration there!!).

The rest of the week has been extremely hectic work wise but, in these hard times, it's good to know that at least I'm earning a living when so many are struggling.

Wednesday was my birthday - I worked all day but we decided to order a kebab for a treat. We use a Norwich kebab house that delivers to our village for an extra £1. Again, being ever frugal, we order the special meal deal which means we get two portions of fries and salad, a bottle of coke and a huge tray of mixed kebab meat/chicken. We only use one portion of the fries and eat about half the meat which means we can then freeze the remainder of the meat and reheat the second portion of fries for dinner the following day!!

The rest of the week has been busy but at least the weather's been good. I find myself feeling really smug on hot summery days as, working from home, I can wander off down the garden when I want to, do a bit of watering and (as I did yesterday afternoon), have a nice drop of lager and lime to ensure I keep cool, calm and relaxed to cope with the extra work.

Adam and I should have been in Southwold (Suffolk) today to help celebrate Adam's mother's and my birthday but Adam's mother wasn't able to come so it's been put off for a further week. Still, it gives me a chance to catch up with some work, do a bit of research into my next article (another murder tale) and maybe get started on my 'biography'. I'm also expecting my sister to phone and make arrangements to drop in as I didn't get to see her on my birthday. She's got a 10 year old son (my one and only nephew) so we'll probably take a walk out in the sun through Spixworth Park. Not your swings and roundabouts type park but the grounds of the old Spixworth Hall Estate - plenty of running around space and a wooded area to poke around in (and that's just for us adults!!). The lovely thing is it's just a couple of minutes' walk from our house so we don't even have to use the car.

Well, time to have a clear up around the house in case the family come in to land without a prior appointment!!!

Never a Dull Moment

So the May Day Bank Holiday despite a promising start on Saturday, turned out to be a bit of a damp squib. I'd hoped to get cracking in the garden as my runner beans really needed planting out. I'd had them growing in a large pot on the bedroom windowsill but they were slowly creeping closer to the ceiling and I was beginning to have concerns that I'd wake in the middle of the night and find Jack hiding under the quilt between me and Adam, grasping the goose that laid the golden eggs and the words 'fee fie foe fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman' emanating from the roof!

However, Saturday's gardening was put to one side as Adam's mother, who's a widow in her mid 80s had to have her cat put to sleep. Naturally she was devastated. Despite the fact she lives next door to Adam's sister, she felt the need to keep in constant touch with us by phone as unfortunately Adam's sister and brother in law are not 'cat people' and we're very much 'feline friendly folk'. This contact had to be undertaken long distance by phone as she lives in Earls Colne in Essex and we live some 80 miles away in Norfolk. Of course, we didn't begrudge her the time but we had thought we'd have a couple of lovely days ahead of us but, Sunday began dull and windy as did Monday.

By Monday afternoon I decided I just had to do something with my triffid beans so I donned wellies and fleece and spent a couple of hours out there in near arctic conditions. While I was out there I'd noted my Busy Lizzies were more like Droopy Doras as they were becoming pot bound so decided to risk putting them in the ground too - what's the betting we have some really hefty frosts in the next few days?

And then, back to work yesterday morning. I thought I'd have time to get to grips with my latest gruesome article as normally things are pretty quiet work wise following a Bank Holiday but I can only imagine that the dire weather was nationwide and all my clients spent the weekend indoors catching up on their dictation. In between work was no go too - my long haired cat had a bout of diarrhoea and sickness so any spare time was spent on hands and knees on the vinyl floor in the kitchen washing her nether regions!! Needless to say she was thoroughly cheesed off with us and , from the glares she gave us during the evening, obviously felt utterly humiliated.

However, all has not been lost. I've managed to put together a short article on another subject which I hope to have published over the next day or so and I'm still hoping that things will quieten down so I can get to grips with my more detailed article. Watch this space!

The only ray of sunshine over the weekend was the fact that I've apparently lost 17 years off my age! I'm still trying to keep going with the WiiFit on a regular basis and, following a couple of G&Ts on Sunday evening I found that I was able to keep my hips swivelling and keep the old hoola hoop going for about 30 seconds whereas normally it would drop round my ankles after about 3, and I also managed to keep rhythm with the step aerobic exercises. Obviously the alcohol lubricated the muscles. So, I'm pleased to inform you that despite being 48 I now have a fitness age of 31. Think the moral of this story is that it's better to exercise when you've downed a couple of gins than to do it completely sober!!!

The Good, The Bad and (Possibly) The Ugly

I got up this morning feeling decidedly depressed.

Having worked out hard on Wii Sports and WiiFit last weekend and pulling a muscle, I'd decided to give it a rest for a few days but to try and maintain a healthy and balanced diet until I was able to bend and stretch again. I was extremely good during the day yesterday but then things went a little awry. I finished work at around 5.15 and my partner reminded me we had some post that needed sending. As our post box is in the centre of the village, we took the lazy man's route - got in the car rather than take a 40 minute walk. Unfortunately the local fish & chip shop is immediately opposite the post box and essence of hot fat tickled our taste buds and we found ourselves strangely drawn over the threshold!!

So, I woke up this morning feeling very down at heel. I then settled myself at my PC ready for a deluge of work but nothing seemed to filter through so not only had we spent £9 on a very unhealthy meal last night to undo all the hard work we'd done on the Wii over the weekend, I hardly earned enough to replenish the piggy bank during the morning.

Then things took a turn for the better! First of all I got a whole load of work in after lunch from one of my favourite clients, and then I received an email from a newly formed independent TV company that makes historical crime docu-dramas - Archive TV - who are interested in promoting some of my recently published articles.

I already have visions of Martin Shaw, Stephen Fry and Amanda Holden being cast as characters in TV productions of my local history articles as all three have bases in Norfolk, but knowing my luck I'll end up with Russell Brand, Ronnie Corbett and Vanessa Feltz!!

Maybe there is some being out there in the wide blue yonder watching us - the boost I got this afternoon far outweighed the gloom that started off my day.